Celebrating Pride: Loving loud and living proud
June is Pride Month, a global observance honoring the vibrant diversity and invaluable contributions of the LGBTQ+ community. At ServiceNow, we cherish our LGBTQ+ employees and allies who bring their authentic selves to work every day.
We’re celebrating Pride this year with our internal theme of "Love loud, live proud." Two employees share their tales of growth, hope, and inspiration, underscoring the enduring power of love and acceptance.
Accessibility note: The video is transcribed at the end of this blog post.
Embracing change
Tonya A., principal technical program manager, is the proud mom of two teenagers. When her transgender son, Raven, was 14 years old, he survived a failed suicide attempt and spent 10 days in the hospital.
After leaving the hospital, he told his parents he didn’t want to be recognized as his previous self. Instead, he wanted to be identified as he/him and go by the name of Raven.
As an ally and parent of a transgender child, Tonya has learned much about the LGBTQ+ community and herself. One of her biggest lessons was learning to let go of expectations for herself as a parent and for Raven.
“Did I think I was going to someday walk my little girl down the aisle? Yes,” she says. “I had to open my arms and ideas about what else is possible. I never thought I’d get to go to a Pride parade with my kid and proudly walk down the street with him, arm-in-arm. That’s been an incredible experience.”
Loving loud
Being an ally is one of Tonya’s most important jobs, she says. “It’s walking alongside my son. It’s amplifying his voice when he can’t speak for himself,” she adds.
Tonya wants others to know there’s a lot of support out there for families that have kids who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. “Find a way to educate yourself,” she advises. “Get in a support group with folks who are going through this. You’re not alone.”
Coming out
In India, societal acceptance of LGBTQ+ individuals can be challenging. Abhishek V., diversity, equity, and inclusion lead in Asia Pacific, wasn’t able to come out on his own terms.
“The reason I came out to my family,” he says, “was that one of my friends sent photographs of me and my partner to my brother. He then confronted me about my sexual identity. I had to come out in a hasty manner, which was not planned.”
This event happened more than a decade ago. Since then, Abhishek’s parents and sisters have learned to love and accept him for who he is.
Abhishek encourages others to come out on their own terms and have an action plan ready for any situation. “If things don’t go the way you anticipate,” he says, “it is very important to have that support system you can rely on, who can support you mentally, emotionally, and any way you need.”
Living proud
Abhishek wears a rainbow lanyard as a symbol of pride and solidarity. “For many, wearing a rainbow lanyard may be seen as a brave or courageous step to challenge the status quo,” he says.
Others may not feel safe to come out as a queer individual. “For those of us who have taken that brave step of coming out at our workplace and in social circles, let’s work toward normalizing this so that people can feel safe, come out, and bring their whole selves to work,” he encourages.
Tonya and Abhishek personify living authentically and courageously. At ServiceNow, we stand firm in our commitment to foster a safe and inclusive workplace for all. As CEO Bill McDermott reaffirms, "When you think about diversity, equity, and inclusion in the LGBTQ+ community, we got you. You're safe here."
If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, you can call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org, to connect with a trained crisis counselor 24/7.
Work for a company where you can love loudly and live proudly. Check out ServiceNow careers.
Video transcript
Tonya A., principal technical program manager: I am the proud mama bear of two teenage kiddos, a cisgender son named Zach, who’s 16, and then I have an 18-year-old transgender son named Raven.
Raven, at about 14 years old, was in a pretty dark place. We ended up having to admit him to the hospital, children’s hospital, after an aborted suicide attempt, which was a really tough thing for our family. And when he came home, he said, “Mom, Dad, I am no longer my previous name. My name is Raven, and I want to go by he and they.”
Raven as a human is incredibly talented. He's currently taking classes for illustration. One of my favorite pieces is a Japanese-style, anime-style art piece. But he loves anything to do with Japan and that whole artist scene, so he created this beautiful waterfall scene with the cherry blossoms.
If your child or somebody in your family has invited you along as part of this journey, figure out how to walk hand in hand with them, how to get out in front of them, so that they’re not walking alone in this process.
Being a parent is this constant exercise in letting go of my expectations of who I thought my kid was going to be. I’m just learning to love my kid for exactly who he is and whatever his journey is. And the most important part is that he’s happy, he’s thriving, and that’s all I need to ask for.
Abhishek V., APAC DEI lead: I did not come out to my parents. Instead, my brother came out to my parents about my sexual orientation. The pushback from my family, I thought that it was quite natural in a country like India, where the LGBT community is not widely accepted.
Over the past few years, my family has become my strength and my pillar, and they have really started supporting me. How I live out proud is accepting myself as the one who I am. I wear this rainbow lanyard at workplace to show how proud I am of my identity.
My hope for the LGBTQIA+ community, especially in India, is that people do not have to go through a stressful coming-out process like I had to, and their coming out is very, very smooth and they do not have to face any backlashes from their family or friends, or they do not have to have a fear of being judged at workplace.
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