Hi,

I don't think through xml import or through update sets, the record can be deleted, because data is specific to the instance and hence they are not directly captured unless explicitly done. Even when you explicitly try to capture, they only capture what exists in the current instance.

If the data itself is deleted in dev instance, it will not be captured anywhere and hence you cannot make it affect in other instances. 

You might have to delete the record from the instance manually or you can write a fix script and then push that fix script through update set and run in the required instances.

Kindly mark the comment as a correct answer and helpful if it helps to solve your problem.

Regards,
Asif
2020 ServiceNow Community MVP